Pati, Patni and the sahayak

Ah that good old Hindi movie whose title everyone quotes but no one seems to have seen it ever! Pati, Patni aur Wo. And in fauj, wo=sahayak. Now I mean this in the cleanest possible way and you better read through this post before your dirty mind starts racing.

Every woman on this earth will agree that there have been times when she has been made to feel secondary in her husband’s life…mostly the time when the guy keeps salivating about his bike or car. But an Army wife gets demoted one more place down the rung as she mostly comes third in the order…. bike/car, sahayak (orderly) and then her.

Why do I say that? Well he knows more about your husband than you do! He knows where he keeps his socks and underwear, he decides what shirt is to be worn to the party tonight, he knows where all his files and papers are, how much petrol is there in his bike, and his likes and dislikes.

Throughout my courtship period and a couple of months after shaadi, I have always kept my financial issues independent from Captain Sa’ab’s. I did not even touch his debit card, a practice which changed the moment I came to know that his buddy (as sahayaks are fondly called) knew his atm pin!

They are also super jugaadu! At least Captain Sa’ab’s buddy definitely was. A broken rod would be replaced within minutes with a rod that nobody knows came from where.

I have heard so many stories of initial tussle between a new bride and the sahayak. One Major sa’ab’s wife would tell us how each morning she would wake up to make tea for her husband and their buddy would show up in the kitchen saying, “Sa’ab ko toh neembupani pasand hai subeh.”

To which the lady would say, “pehele pasand hoga. Ab toh unko chai hi milegi.”

“Then let me make it.”

“It’s okay, I will make it.”

“But I know how much sugar he has with his tea.”

“So do I.”

“But he also likes Marie biscuits with tea. You don’t have it.”

“I have bought Monaco this time. He’ll have that.”

Buddy whispers to himself “Uh, of course!”

And the cold war continues. No war, no peace 🙂


16 thoughts on “Pati, Patni and the sahayak”

  1. Haha, really enjoyed this! You have a lovely style of writing. 🙂 Stumbled across your blog through Indiblogger and I’m glad I did, cause I seem to have found something wonderfully refreshing (I’m FAR from the Army crowd, so this is all new to me). Will come back for more!

  2. Haha..I have heard a senior lady likening the sahayak to a ‘soutan’ (other woman) due to his jealous ways around the house, when she was newly wed.

  3. I am absolutely loving your blog. I keep referring to my husbands buddy as my soutan. I opened wordpresss with the intention of starting my own blog and stumbled upon yours and the time just flew by. There is so much that I could relate to.

  4. Had to change sahayak after three months he simply refused to let me do anything for his sahab …it was like I was the guest and he was the owner

  5. Anamika ma’am you make me laugh to much with your stories.
    The only other blogger which is this cute is cynthia of the blog indian vanity case.
    I come here to read your stories( you are so cute😦) and i eagerly wait to see ,if you uploaded any posts(trying not to be a creepy adult) and jenna marbles she crack me up too you are in that league.You give me happy.

      1. No! No! No! You are!
        If you could see my face when I read your blog you will reconsider my opinion.😅
        That will be awesome.

  6. Hey great write up. Found about your blog from our very own active FB group. and can so much relate to all the posts…do drop in my blog whenever u get time. i have yet to read all your posts….enjoying them….

  7. I m not part of this crazy family…but love to be part of it.I love every single post of your’s mam ..I just read every post in just few hours.Your stories appears like it’s happening in front of me ..even with me.lots of love mam.keep smiling

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