As soon as the name of the unit/battalion which will host the next Ladies’ Meet is announced, it is like the begul has been sounded for the next big battle. “What should we have as our theme?” is the big question which Arnab Goswami has sadly ignored.
One fine day, when I had nothing better to do, this thought entered my mind — what is one theme which a Ladies’ Meet would never ever have, no matter what. The only one that came to my mind was the “Tapori” theme. Tapori is the typical Mumbaiya local language, which is generally used in Bollywood movies by guys who have nothing better to do than do nothing :P. Or the maids there who have a female version of this colloquial Hindi-Marathi mish-mash.
Just imagine the anchor of the Ladies’ Meet saying, “Aye bhidu, tu apun ke Ladies’ Meet me ayela ae lekin apun ka bheja nai khaneka. Chup chaap baithneka and show dekhneka.” (That is when ladies choke on the ‘welcome drink’)
Or continue in the same nonchalant tone and say, “Madam log, ab apni chik-chik pe full stop laganeka, and Shruti maidem ka ekdum jhakaas gana suno. Unki awaz apun ko ekdum hila ke rakh diya… muaah.,.. itna rapchik gana ae.” (That is when the floor gets covered with eyeballs that recently belonged to wives of senior officers seated on sofas in the front row.)
And finally…
“Chalo abhi hawa aan do. Khana khaneka, tarif karneka, and ghar jaaneka. Itna paisa mein itnaich milenga. Thank you- good evening ghar jaake karne ka”
Next day — Husbands of all those ladies who were hosting will run BPET.
A Curious Army Wife 
Omg…..I almost fell off the chair laughing….. 😀
imagining the faces of senior ladies and reactions of husbands the next day, should something like that happen!! WoW!! 😀
bole to…..ek dum jhakaas post!!
Firstly, kudos!!! I totally love your blog. And being a “memsahib” from Mumbai married to a Capt Saab (thanks to whom i have seen more of India in the last few years than i have my entire life!!!) this particular post had me in splits!!!
Actually, your blog was the first to crop up in response to my million dollar question- ladies meet themes!!! Ours is next in line :O
I completely relate with your writing and will definitely share it with the other army wives. A blog on my culinary exploits (thanks to the army) is underway. When i do manage to get it up and running, will definitely love to share it with you and would love your insights on the same.
PS, I might actually float the idea of a tapori theme… just to see my senior ladies reaction!
Hey Mansi, good luck with your ladies’ meet. I have attended some awesome theme parties in the last few months and the only grudge I have is having to wear Sarees :D. Do get your blog running soon, as I am also learning some “fauji-specific” dishes.
excellent idea
jst awesome!!!!!! cudnt controll laughing while reading
Dear Young Lady , Would Love to See Your Culinary Blog, Love Cooking — Goan Style & My Own !! Colonel Ashok
I am more of a maggi person Col Ashok, but would love to feature something written by you. How about Goan-inspired starters for an army party? Btw… love goan food… especially prawns xacuti. 🙂